My weekly game pitch #6
By Guest Columnist, Scott Rush

It's been hectic around here since the holidays and the sales reports are beginning to filter in. It looks like we're going to "move some product", as Bob used to say, though he usually meant going to the warehouse and filling up his trunk with games "for poor people", which he used to do this time of year or anytime he had a car payment due.
With Bob gone, I hardly ever go to Starbucks anymore, and the weekly meetings don't seem as much fun. I had a meeting with Humane Resources and despite Malcolm's kidding that I was going to be the oldest coordinator in company history, it went really well. The lady said they were going to re-examine my qualifications and job description in light of recent developments, so I think there's a chance I may get Bob's job! Wouldn't that be something!

Anyway, to keep HR noticing me, I've come up with a few more cool game ideas. Actually, since Bob's been gone, I haven't had too much to do besides think about games and that girl in MIS that I think likes me because she asked me if I ever thought about changing my clothes. Sort of saucy question, right? I think she was kidding. She's nice looking, in an "I've-got-something-in-my-eye" kind of way; she has a nice smile when she isn't squinting like she's trying to read the Lord's Prayer etched on the head of a pin. Probably some condition or something. MIS is full of people with little tics and twitches. So, here are my pitches for this week:

Downtime
In this fast-paced action-blood-puzzler, a bunch of employees are trying to look busy when they really have nothing to do, and to shift their work load around hot-potato style to the person in the next cubicle so that they can get back to doing nothing. Tripwires, glue mitts, auto-fire three hole punchers and copier jams are just a few of the tactical weapons. When the timer counts down and a player gets caught with a work load, it's time to use Call In Sick, Pointless Trip and Family Emergency power ups! Dodge tasks like poison but avoid getting The Axe. The player who spends the longest time at a job without doing any work is the winner.

Frankenstrike
Famous movie monsters compete in this weirdo haunted bowling alley, and they use concussion grenades, mortars, plasma rockets, sharp knives and other stuff to knock down the pins. Plus any special powers they have, like being invisible or really strong. Some modes would be Terror Tournament, 1 Player Slow and Painful Death and Head to Headless. Plus we'll have a Create-A-Monster feature, since everybody seems to like to do their own thing when it comes to monsters. Imagine the Human Fly, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, Dracula and Chuckie all competing for high wood! Maybe we'll add a Human Pin mode, too.

Those are some pretty cool ideas, even if I did think of them. I still haven't heard anything about my ideas from the past few weeks, since a lot of people have been traveling or attending "offsites", which generally take place at Snookie's Tavern. I haven't been required to attend one yet, but Bob used to come back from them with bold new insights and sometimes missing a sock. If I get his job, I'll let you know what an offsite is really like. See you next week!

Previous Installments:
Dorkus: Lizard Killer & Pacer Racer | Stumble Up & Xtreme Lawn Sports | Redwood Rodeo & Supper Man | Y2K 2000 & Puddin' Bears | Brad & Brenda's Dance Club Adventure & Stilt Race 2000