My Weekly Game Pitch
Guest Columnist, Scott Rush
Each week, there's a big meeting where we review what games are in development, and pitches are made for new ones. If an idea seems promising, it gets sent around to all the departments for review. They call it the "green light" when they decide to go ahead and make a game, which I don't get.
Usually the Mail Department has the last word, since they have to send out all the press releases and deliver our mail and no one wants to make them mad. They're a pretty picky bunch, and if you ask me, haven't got a clue about what makes a good game. Don't get me wrong, "Postage Meter 2000" did pretty well, and even I was surprised at the sensation it caused. But if you ask me, the Marketing Department ought to be the ones who support dumb ideas and put the kibosh on ones with a prayer of selling more than a dozen units, but they don't seem interested it doing anything except having coffee and comparing paper weights. It's depressing, especially since the mailroom guys pretty much hate all my ideas, even the killer ones that all the marketing pashas say they could sell to Eskimos, though I don't know what's so hard about selling games in the Arctic Circle.
Anyway, I'll keep bringing these great ideas up every week. Maybe one of the mail guys will trade in his stock options and move to Switzerland and I'll get my chance. These are a few of the ideas I'm going to bring up at the meeting, if I don't get sent out for paper clips like last time. And believe me, I've got plenty more great ideas that could make this company millions.
Brad & Brenda's Dance Club Adventure
This would be like an extension of our Mary-Kate & Ashley's Dance Party of the Century, but more hip and downtown and really with it, since Brad Pitt and Brenda Starr are both really popular grown ups and can stay out as late as they want. There would be a limousine race running around trying to discover which club is the cool place to be that night. Then when the players get the right club, they have to do like an American Gladiator's dance marathon. Brenda Starr is really sexy looking, so this could be a mature kinda thing that all the teenage boys would trade cheats to make her naked and the game would be popular with teenage girls too, when they got the make-Brad-Pitt-naked cheat. Note to self: Remember to stress neither one has been in a game before, so they aren't played out yet, like that cartoon super hero with the pointy ears.
Stilt Race 2000
I saw a guy on stilts at the St. Agnes' Fair last year, which is when I got the idea for this. The guy looked like a dork, but he was good on those stilts and all the girls thought he was something. OK, here goes: Really sexy girls and some guys on these really futuristic stilts that have jets or springs or something in them, and they race. It's like a sport in the future, and there would be different courses, like say St. Patrick's Fair, and maybe around the parking garage when the cops aren't around, or even in famous places like The New York Public Library (we could make the lions say something outrageous) and Coney Island.
I'll try those out at the big meeting. I'm pretty sure most of the people will dig these a lot, because even that kind of stuck-up girl in marketing said they were juvenile, which from a marketing person means kids would like it. I have to get Bob's coffee before the meeting, so I better go, he gets mad if he doesn't have it before he goes in, like it's my fault the jerks at Starbucks stand around talking to each other like I'm not there waiting for service. Next week I'll tell you how it went. Cross your fingers!